|
|
My boss Nash really likes this place. It's his local hangout. He likes the owners, the staff, the regulars, and most important, The Stage. We've been coming here for six Halloween's in a row, not to mention all the shows in between and coming up. The next one is Boxing Day. Check out the gig listings for further info. With the huge screen and high ceiling, it feels like an old movie theatre, and when Nash does his shows, it really brings out the ghosts in the walls. My friend Diesel wants to know how I get to hang out in all these fancy clubs. Every dog knows we canines are not allowed in establishments that serve food or beverage unless our function is that of assisting a handicapped human. I explained to him, that while my docile, good behaviour wins every time, I also happen to be Dressing Room Security, and that gives me Diplomatic Immunity. I am not technically in the club, but rather protecting an area that is designated for the sole use of my boss, Nash The Slash. I do my duties diligently, and I do not hire myself out to any other performers for this service. At Stratengers, I hang around the dressing room, and go out the private back door for a stroll around the local park. A nice park, where lots of other dogs have left their mark. I take a good dump right out in the open and everyone gets to watch Nash stoop and scoop. This may seem like an odd concept to non dog-humans, but we canines prefer to dump on pristine land, so it's in our owner's best interest that they clean up after us, or else we'll start crapping on the kitchen floor. At this time of year it gets dark very early, and with all the little ghouls and goblins out on this particular evening, I'm only too glad to get back to the club and just sleep through the festivities. To tell the truth, Halloween scares the milkbone right out of me. it's bad enough when I sometimes see humans on the street wearing funny hats, but when they dress up on this particular evening just to scare each other, I freak out. Nash in bandages doesn't scare me 'cause I know he's just going to work. but I've seen enough zombie movies living with Nash that I know what to do when someone's face is falling off. You growl and run like hell. The only things that upset me more are blimps and horses. Not having actually seen the performance, I can only reflect on the way Nash usually handles all aspects of a show: with calm and chaos. There is more to be done than any dog can possibly imagine. Nash tries the Zen approach: nothing is perfect but everything is eventually all right. If that doesn't work, he goes ballistic. Corpusse is the opening act. This is a performer that Nash enjoys working with. Corpusse, the poet/performer/ranter, is accompanied on stage by his sonic side-kick Lorenz, who adds just the light electronic sound textures to the bombardment of verbal body-slams. Corpusse is a 250-pound make-up freak who looks like an inflated Alice Cooper with hockey pads. His voice has the operatic qualities of Nina Hagen and the delivery of Captain Beefheart. His poetic satire will leave you curled up with laughter. . . . Or you may not get it. Love him or hate him, you cannot avoid the gargantuan presence of Corpusse. Corpusse is a performer. He is a totally different person off stage, very gentle and polite, but on stage he knows how to create controversy and outrage with every show. This is a performance artist. There is irony, wit, brutality and perversion. We need more outrage in our performers, and Corpusse is on the cutting edge. Nash hits the stage at 11:05 EST. The enthusiastic audience of over 100 souls was treated to a first set of Nash Thrash starting with We Will Be The Leadersand ending with the 20 year-old FM classic, Phasors On Stun, played with the original drum machine and delivered in a distinctive Nash style. The theme for this evening's costume contest was for the participants to be dressed in a VISCERAL nature. As it turned out, no one knew what VISCERAL meant, so no one really dressed up with blood and guts. A girl dressed as Miss Viagra won the contest. In a show of audience approval, testosterone won over Webster's Dictionary. The winning prize was
After the contest, Nash took a 30 minute break and spent some time in the dressing room telling me what a non-event the costume contest was, Next year we make it real simple: your best impression of Casper the Ghost. The second set starts at 12:30 and gets totally out there. It begins with Something Weird on my TVand ends with Nash sacrificing the virgin violin with an electric jigsaw massacre to the tune of Danger Zone 2000. Blood and violin body parts are hurled into the front rows (VISCERAL!!!), creating morbid trophies for Rod and Mike. The encore is I'm A Canadian Band, a political satire that is really scary, but only to fellow Canadians. This year's event had the vibe of non-participation. Was it a lack of communication? So many people and so few participants. Have you humans lost your enjoyment of Halloween? Does everyone expect to be entertained by others? Are Nash fans too old to care? This is the only time of year when your species seems to do this ritual. As much as I disapprove, a Nash Halloween party is where the audience is expected to out-do Nash the Slash. This year there was no attempt. Next year people better figure it out or it's Casper the Ghost theme, alright? Where was I during all this excitement, you ask? Why, visiting my pal Karl in the kitchen, of course. Hey Diesel. Chew plastic, pal! Digger |
