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In Search of Swedish Polkas and Russian Vampires I am just now able to decipher the incredible tale from Nash's diary and translate it for you. As the tour progressed, Nash's notes become Cyrillic and beyond comprehension. The transcriptions from Russian, into English, into Pooch and back into English has been rather exhausting! Here is the epic tale of Nash the Slash's invasion of Sweden and Mother Russia. You'd think a dog could go to Europe but oh, no, there's too many germs! I might bring Typhoid or Mad Dog Disease. I don't think so. Nash goes off to Scandinavia and Russia in search of vampires without me. Upon arriving at Stockholm airport, one of Nash's equipment trunks has been badly damaged. The equipment inside is OK so another suitcase is purchased while the old trunk is emptied and abandoned with a note attached saying "this box no longer suitable for explosives, please dispose". Nash and Hugo arrive at the Columbus Hotel, which will be their home for the next five days. Built in 1780 as a brewery, the hotel has wide stone staircases and solid stone walls half a meter thick. In 1812 it served as a barrack for the city guard and in 1834 it was a hospital for the deranged. From a brewery to a sanatorium, what fitting accommodations for Nash the Slash. The hotel is in a nice neighbourhood, where the sights and sounds include numerous churches, schools, coffee shops, local pubs, music shops, art galleries and a 7-Eleven. Unlike the crap we eat in North America, at this 7-Eleven they serve fresh pasta and Thai noodles, and the best hot dog Nash has ever tasted. They have fresh pastries, four kinds of quiche and a large selection of loose candy with ten kinds of liquorice. I bet they even have Kibbles 'n' Reindeer. While preparing for the quest for Nosferatu, Nash and Hugo happen upon a local pub and eatery called Garlic and Shots, a place dedicated to the consumption of garlic, with garlic ice cream no less. They've been written up in Ripley's Believe it or Not. There are large garlands of garlic hanging from the ceiling and images of bats and vampires throughout the menu. The place is a true tonic for the vampire mission ahead, and Nash gorges on the Transylvania Blood Steak. Nash spends most of his time walking around Stockholm and seeing the sights. Just about everyone speaks English so there is no problem getting around or communicating. The weather is unusually warm and everyone is out enjoying the sun. There are a lot of open spaces and parks where even I could have a good run. Nash notices most dogs in Sweden are unfixed, but that's because they have sensible owners. They don't need animal or any other kind of control, dammit, they're Swedes! In the old part of the city the narrow streets are lined with high-end souvenir shops selling such must-have items as Viking statues, reindeer hides, Swedish hockey jerseys and waffle-cones! Nash buys me a bag of 'Deer Ears' as a memento. Stockholm has kept its old world charm by not building skyscrapers. There isn't a building taller than ten stories. Why ruin a perfectly good-looking 17th century city with ugly 20th century architecture? Nash witnessed many examples of Swedish efficiency but the best was when a Carlsberg truck pulled up to a pub, and instead of unloading large and heavy aluminum kegs of beer into the cellar, they simply pumped it in! That's right, they ran a hose just like an oil truck right into the basement and filled the pub's large reservoir full of fresh brew. The city is very calm and peaceful. The kids don't run and scream, people look fit and healthy and there are no bums or public drunks. It's clean and civilized, just like Toronto used to be about twenty years ago. Soon the fateful day arrives when Nash finally meets Hoven Droven, Sweden's most terrifying folk group. They play heavy polkas with screaming fiddle and sax, then lull you into a gentle waltz before attacking again with another monster polka! Nash and Hugo are met at the hotel by Jens, the sax player and the only member of Hoven Droven who lives in Stockholm. The rest of the gang comes from up north. They will be meeting us in Uppsala, just north of Stockholm for our first gig together. When we arrive, everyone is in a good mood as we sit down to a relaxed lunch and share music stories and interests. The club is an old railway storage shed, with large wooden beams and a warm atmosphere. This will be a tasteful crowd tonight. After sound-check, Nash and Hoven Droven rehearse the song they will perform together. Nash will play his set, then remain on stage, introduce Hoven Droven and then join them for their first number. Nash selects a number from their repertoire to play along live. As you know, Nash is a big fan of their music so he has already played along to his favorite tracks on the CD. The song titles are all in Swedish, so Nash doesn't know that the name of the song he has selected is Meat Polka. You can see a picture of Nash and Hoven Droven doing Meat Polka live on the fan website. Thanks to their soundman Anders for the shot. Nash's set is a little rough, with some sound problems and an audience that really doesn't know what to make of him. Nash ends the set with Baba O'Riley and there is polite applause. When Nash introduces Hoven Droven and they go into Meat Polka together, the audience is won over. During Hoven Droven's set, the audience of young college kids dance with traditional folk steps and then when the tunes get heavy they head-bang along. What a fun band! The next morning, we leave the hotel in Uppsala and head down to Stockholm for our next show at the Sodra Theatre. Packing the van was a serious challenge and some band members as well as Hugo the agent decided it was less crowded to take the train. The Sodra Theatre is a very funky room that holds about 300 people. There are large black iron pillars along one side and these give the room a dark, gothic feel. Perhaps there will be a vampire or two in the audience tonight. The night's performance went great. A raw set of Thrash ends with Baba O'Riley. Nash introduces Hoven Droven. They rip into Meat Polka and the crowd goes wild. Hoven Droven were particularly humorous tonight, doing some heavy-metal poses and other Swedish funny bits that Monty Python or Abba would be proud of. There were many new and old fans that came up at the end of the night to say hello, including John from the UK. He now lives in Stockholm and he was just 12 years old living in England when he first bought a Nash the Slash record (Swing-Shift on Flexi Disc). His Swedish girlfriend happens to be from the same town as Hoven Droven. It has been a short two days playing with Hoven Droven, but Nash is very excited about doing a Canadian tour with them this fall. There is no late-night farewell party, as Nash and Hugo must rise early to search for Nosferatu in another land called Russia. Digger |
