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A Report from the Front, embedded in the 55th Nash The Slash Armoured Division Somewhere in Toronto, Canada. For security reasons I cannot divulge my exact whereabouts but suffice to say I am in a strategic location on Queen Street West in Toronto that has been meticulously designed by German engineers to protect the public from any global distractions, such as War, Famine, Pestilence or The Rapture. The Vatikan doesn't even have a friggin' sign! This is a Goth Club, on the fringe of downtown Toronto's nightlife in more ways than one. Although the neighbourhood is up-scale enough, there is a sense of dread in the air, and all the windows are pulled tight and covered in plastic sheeting and duct tape. Is there some impending doom to come, some kind of 'Smart Bomb' about to blast Mayor Mel's bunker just a few streets to the north? No! The local protection is for the sonic boom from Nash The Slash playing The Vatikan! As you dear readers know, I haven't been on the front line for a while and this is an exciting operation to be involved in. Nash thought it would be good for me to file a first-hand report. First, we have had a change in troop deployment. Alex, who has been with the regiment for many years, has retired to join civilian life. Second, Nash has enlisted Derek to assume Alex's duties. Derek comes from the Home Base Reserves and is eager to rise to the occasion. The invasion of the club goes smoothly, and we are met with little resistance. Lance, one of the owners, puts up a false capitulation and then tries to ambush Nash while setting up, but Nash retaliates with a bombardment of feedback that lasts for over 20 minutes and at some times reaches a level of 140 decibels until Lance caves in and buys the pizza. We are now entrenched in this bunker, and the pizza arrives, but it is the wrong one. The pizza is paid for, but Lance insists on calling the pizza company to complain, and sure enough they deliver another pizza free of charge. Wow. Even in a war zone, you can still get a pizza. This isn't just a war zone, it is a community of Mental Health Care Recipients, the politically-correct way of saying 'most people on the sidewalk aren't talking to you'. I am here as an objective observer but the wailing from the Mental Asylum across the road is beginning to wear on my trigger finger. While Nash and I are out perusing the grounds of the asylum for a good spot for me to take a dump, we meet Mary, an out-patient with an attitude. Have you ever noticed how many 'normal' people just shrug their shoulders when asked about world events, yet so-called 'crazy' people have a real opinion? Maybe they're just better-informed and more disturbed by the information. Mary went on about the War in Iraq like she was living every moment of it. Indeed she was, glued to her television like a modern-day Scarlett O'Hara, wondering which one of her lover-boys would make it home to save the plantation. 'We all hope for saviours and we all hope for peace, but there are those in this world who want to destroy our way of life', she says. 'It is time to be accounted for'. She says, 'I am greatly disturbed by my Federal Government. America is our friend and neighbour. Our Government may be cowards, but we're not. We're Canadians!' Go Mary. Back at the club, Chris Alexander's Annihilator has done the sound check and the show is ready to roll. The first bombardment comes from Annihilator's sonic boom of dramatic horror music, a thick sound of synths and samples that prepares the audience for the 'Shock and Awe' about to come. Nash performs a set of 'Schlock and Ahhh', everything from the familiar refrains of 'Dead Man's Curve', to the melodramatic romanticism of 'Vincent's Crows'. The audience is liberated, free of the dictatorship of commercial music, and wrapped in the liberation of their musical experience. There has never been an assault like this in the history of live Electronic Music Performance. This sonic bombardment will continue until this world is a better place to live and to listen to good music. If life were this easy, I'd be a happy dog. Digger |
